Our God is a Merciful and Forgiving God. Give Him a Chance to accept your forgiveness. The guilt you experience is an opportunity for you to be closer to God. The guilt humbles us to come nearer to Him. Allow yourself to Heal in God's time. The Lord knows our hearts.  He knows how sincere and contrine your heart is. Find a Priest or a Spiritual Director to guide you back to God.

I remembered a story when I was a kid. After the mass, I was left behind my family… So I stayed in one corner and cried. A Lady came and asked me what's wrong. I told her that I got Lost. “Do you know your house?”, she asked. I nodded. So she held my hand, and I pointed the directions going home. Eventually, I arrived home safely.

Its funny though. I was still 5 years old that time.  And the distance between my house and the church is near. But even if I know my way home, I just dont have the strength and the courage to go home. I need a guide… somebody who will guide me and give me strength upon going home.

Spiritually, we seem to lost our track home, which is in God's arms.  Because of sin, we seem don't have enough strength to go back to Him. Similarly with the Lady who helped me, is our Priest everytime we go to confession.  The Priest gives us spiritual guidance whcih stregthens us and gives us courage. The priest is able to guide us and gives us the courage to go back home.. back to God's arms once again.

Hope this helps!